Saturday, January 8, 2011

Multiple Ramblings...

We made the trip out to Bed, Bath and Beyond!  Yeah!

It wasn't easy, but I found some rugs and towels to match.  The funniest thing is that the ones that I picked online in the 'sand' color were exactly the ones I ended up buying.  I just didn't feel comfortable buying them online, site unseen.  Tom very patiently followed me back and forth between the rugs and the towels...8-)  It would have been nice if they had set the store up with all the towels that matched a certain color rug right beside them...but nooooo...they had to have them across the store.  I certainly got enough exercise today and am quite exhausted now.

Here are some pics of the new rugs and towels.  We have a really long master bath so it is hard to take pictures of everything at once.  Well, you'll get the idea, anyway.

I'm such a 'neutral' color girl.  My mother will find these colors boring but it is who I  I'm pretty simple and love to stay in the background.  8-)

So, we were standing in the store trying to decide what type of a toilet seat lid we had...was it oblong or round.  Neither one of us could remember.  How bad is that?  We brought home the round one and Tom gallantly took it back and exchanged it after we got home and saw what kind it really was.  The other bad thing was that I had taken down measurements the other day of the areas that needed rugs.  The only thing I could remember was that the area in front of the two sinks was 72" and the area in front of the shower was either 40" or 44".  So we got a 60" rug for in front of the sinks and took a chance on a 44" rug for the shower area and got lucky because the shower area was exactly 44".  (whew)

While my white and red blood counts were really down on Thursday when I went to the doctor, but I can tell that they are indeed coming up because I was able to walk all over that store without feeling like I was going to pass out or anything.  I guess we will be ready for the next (and LAST) chemo treatment on Thursday.

My sister sent me a really cool encouragement card that I got today.  It had Snoopy dancing on the front of the card and it said on the front "Know What THIS is?"  and you open it says "It's the DANCE I'm going to do when you are all BETTER."   We got the mail on the way out to the store this morning and had a good laugh over it.  Yeah, Carol, I can already imagine you doing your Happy Dance.  8-)  I'll be doing it right there with you.

I asked the doctor on Thursday if my reactions to finding lumps was normal or was I turning into this 'paranoid woman'?  He assured me that not only was it normal but from now on it is my job to tell him about every single little lump that I find so we can both be assured that there is no more cancer.  He made me feel much less paranoid.  8-)

One of my bosses sent me an email on Friday and told me about a lady at work (whom I actually know to some degree from working with her) that has just been diagnosed with Breast Cancer and wanted me to talk to her to reassure her.  So, I  was struck with really mixed feelings.  Sorrow for the lady to have to go through this and excitement that maybe I could give her some insight that will reduce her fears.  My Sister-in-Law, Sharyn, has also told me of someone that she'd like to give my name to chat with to help through her trials with Breast Cancer.  God really does open the doors for us to minister, doesn't he?  I really hope I can help them both to go through this with less trepidation.  Sometimes, being armed with knowledge helps us with the struggles.  I know that, as I learned more about what I was going through, I felt tremendously better. 

Hope everyone is having a great day!

Friday, January 7, 2011

What's Mine is HERS

I have set up a working space in the spare bedroom on the bed so that I'm not too exhausted at the end of the day.  I don't want to get under the sheets so I had a spare blanket put at the end of the bed so that I could pull it over my legs when I felt too cool.  (My thermostat is all over the place so I dress in layers and keep blankets nearby...)

Anyway...Shadow (yeah, another cat story) decides she likes this blanket (even though I have some nice soft rugs set down there for her to lay on.  (See those tan rugs to the left of her...she totally avoids them.)  So, she leaves the blanket folded up for a little while and lays on it.  Then, yesterday, she decided that she needed to 'nest' it to fit her body.  Below are the results.  (Sigh)

It took her a lot of work to get it exactly the way she wanted it.  So, now, I guess MY blanket is HER blanket.  Because I'm such a softee, I got myself another blanket yesterday to lay under.  (Must have happy cat....)

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Aloe Madness!!

My sister sent me a text message the other day and told me she had sent the Aloe Plant.  I said, "Cool...what do I owe you for it?"   She says, "Just keep it alive."  I told her she was mean...that was the hard part.

I got the plant today.  When I got it, I wasn't sure which end was supposed to be looked like this when I took it out of the box.

That didn't look right, so I tried walked around to the other side and took a good look. 

Hmmm, I guessed it was time to take the scissors and try cutting some of the tape off...

AHA!  I found the bottom of the to open up the plant itself...

It had broken ends from the shipment but I gave it a haircut (trimmed off the broken pieces) and WALA:

YEAH, CAROL!  That's a lot of Aloe...I have a fat cat and a fat aloe plant now.  8-)

I saw the doctor early this morning and the radiologist says the lump in the right breast is a fibroadenoma instead of a fluid filled cyst.  He says it is still nothing to worry about.  He did say I could have it removed if it grew too much or if it was bothering me.  I said I'd keep that in mind in the future....(yeah, that's gonna

Hope everyone is having a great day! 

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Sleepless Night and Sonogram

This has been an interesting 24 hours. 

I talked with my Cancer Nurse from the Boeing Wellness Program yesterday afternoon.  I was telling her about the new lump in my right breast (the one that had the cancerous lump that they removed).  She sounded kind of panicky and asked what they are doing about it.  I basically told her my request was to wait until chemo was over.  She said not to wait, but to pass Go and immediately get it checked out because if I am growing new lumps then the chemo won't have worked as it should have if they are malignant.  Sigh.

No sleep last night, as you can imagine...lots of weird dreams when I did sleep though...I dreamed Tom wasn't waiting for me to die but was already scoping out the new wife he would need when I died.  Oh, the mind is a crazy thing...I kept asking him, "Couldn't you just wait until I'm actually dead to go looking for a new wife?"  When I woke up, if he hadn't already been out of bed, I would have smacked him 'cause I was just that mad.  HA!

So, this morning, I call my doctor and ask for a sonogram for the lump he found last week.  They immediately got me into The Breast Center to have it checked out.  I have an appointment tomorrow morning to go over the results with the doctor.  I have had a lot of sonograms in my lifetime.  They would always do the mammogram and then they would shuffle me off to do a sonogram of the lumps they would see in the mammogram.  I've seen a LOT of fluid filled cysts in my lifetime.  When they found the actual tumor, last July, I saw it on the sonogram before the technician said anything.  This time, I didn't see anything but fluid filled masses but she wouldn't talk about it.  (Whatever...)  I feel pretty confident that it was just a fluid filled cyst.

So, we've jumped through one more hoop.  I have to admit though, I wasn't going to jump through it until she said that all the chemo would have been for nothing if it had turned out to be a malignant tumor.  I asked her what they would do if the chemo wasn't working and she said they would change the chemo to another type.  No wonder I had nightmares.  I just can't see me doing another chemo round.  I guess in my head I had just written me off as dead, if that was the case.   HA!

Hope everyone is having a great day!  I know I'm going to sleep better tonight.  8-)

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Mundane Ramblings...

We are back to normal today.  The holidays are over.  Sigh.  

Shadow has parked herself (in her usual spot) on my desk between my work computer and my personal computer.  This time she is facing me.  She has been keeping an eye on me for the last 24 hours.  (I just tested this theory and if I move in my chair, she opens an eye...HA!)  

After Tom left for work yesterday and she couldn't find me (because the bedroom door was shut and I was still sleeping) she went into anxiety mode and threw up on the washing machine.  (Which really beats her throwing up on the living room rug or Tom's seat on the leather couch...that one is always a fun surprise...he never sees it before he sits  Once she saw me up, she was ok but wouldn't let me out of her sight all day.  If I moved rooms, she moved rooms.  Poor thing...she's gonna go crazy when I have to physically go back to work in February.

The good thing about the new year is that everyone at work is still trying to figure out where they were at the end of last year so I'm not getting inundated with help calls yet. 

I am actually out of bed today which is pretty much a first since my last chemo treatment. (Except for the day that Tom and I cleaned house and I really wasn't out of bed that long on that day.)  It's only eight in the morning and I'm already exhausted.  My dad, not long before he died, would look longingly at his bed when they had him out of it in the nursing home.  I can SOOOO relate to that right now.  I would love to just go back there and crawl back into it.  

There has always been something odd about our master bathroom.  It is always 20 degrees colder back there than the rest of the house.  Doesn't matter if it is winter or summer, it is cold.  (I could understand it better if it were only cold in the winter and hot in the summer but it is cold all the time.)  It's so cold that I put a thermometer back there to see if I was imagining it or if it was real.  Most of the time it registers about 53 degrees in that room (versus 72 in the rest of the house).  Both of the AC/heat vents in the room are wide open and Tom has checked the duct work to make sure it is all connected.  Without rugs back there (yeah, I'm still whining about the rugs) the little tootsies really freeze in the middle of the night when nature calls.  Can't wait for the weekend to get those rugs procured.  8-) 

OK, I haven't put any Max in for a few is a good nugget to hold on to if you're ever feeling God isn't listening to you.

"God Listens

By Max Lucado

“I call to you in times of trouble, because you will answer me.”  Psalm 86:7

You can talk to God because God listens.

Your voice matters in heaven. He takes you very seriously. When you enter His presence, the attendants turn to you to hear your voice. No need to fear that you will be ignored.

Even if you stammer or stumble, even if what you have to say impresses no one, it impresses God, and he listens" 

The beauty of Max is the way he states the obvious so simply that you go..."I knew that but it is SO reassuring to hear it."  It's like your Father's love.  You know He loves you but you still like (and need) to hear Him say it.

By Grace Alone -

Monday, January 3, 2011

I'll Wait For You

I am shopping today.

I'm not leaving the house but doing it by internet which is particularly hard for some of the shopping. 

The first item was easy.  I needed some more lotion from Bath and Body Works.  Piece of cake.  Five minutes and that job was complete.  They even had it on sale because they're DISCONTINUING it.  How come everything that I like, they discontinue?  I ordered six bottles because of that.  I figure in six months when I need it again, I can actually go physically to the store and see what I like.  

The next item...not so easy.  This weekend I washed the bathroom rugs and opened the washer to find the backs had disintegrated.  Sigh.  They were only three years old.  I guess I washed them to death over the last three years.  (Must have clean...)  They were good Sears rugs too.  Now I am searching online for a color that won't be true on the computer....(I don't care how good a video card is, it never shows exactly the same color on your computer as it would if you were holding it in your hand.)  I'm a picky decorator but we really need something on the floor in the bathroom so I'm going to jump right into it. 

OK, jumped into it and back out of it.  I can't do it online.  I spent 4 hours looking (I'll never get those 4 hours back...sigh.) and found a color that I think might work from Bed, Bath, and Beyond but I couldn't match towels to them.  (Of course, since I'm changing colors for the rugs, I have to have new towels to match...8-)  We will just have to struggle through until this next weekend when I will be able to leave the house.  (Get ready for heavy duty shopping, honey!)

Tom just sent me the most beautiful email.  He had heard a song on the radio to which he said "This is EXACTLY HOW I FEEL WHERE YOU ARE CONCERNED."  He says the first part of it doesn't apply since he doesn't travel but the part below in blue is what he was talking about.  (Now how sweet is he?  That's my soulmate talking.)  Of course, I haven't even heard the song but the words made me cry.  

I'll Wait For You by Joe Nichols:

The snow in Montana was three feet high
The lady at the counter said: There ain't no flights
And so he called her on the telephone
He said: I'll rent a car and I'll drive home

And she said: I'll wait for you
Like I did last year
At Christmas time with your family here
And your truck broke down out in San Antone
And the gifts stayed wrapped until you got home
Oh, this ain't nothin' new
Sweetheart, I'll wait for you

Now he's on his cell phone in a Coupe Deville
Talkin' to the one he loves and always will
His heart is breakin' 'cause she's there alone
Her heart is achin' 'cause she wants him home
She says: I'll wait for you like in '68
When our child was due, but I said, he'll have to wait
Until his dad gets here and stands by my side
Remember, Dear, our son's first cry
Oh, this ain't nothin' new
Sweetheart, I'll wait for you

He didn't stop all day to eat a bite
And he finally got there around midnight
The doctor said, she's in a better place
She said to give this you this note just in case

And it said, I'll wait for you at Heaven's gate
Oh, I don't care how long it takes
And I'll tell Saint Pete I can't come in
Without my love and my best friend
Oh, this ain't nothin' new
Sweetheart, I'll wait for you
P.S. I love you, too
Sweetheart, I'll wait for you

I'll have to go listen to it now.  8-)  Here is a link to a video of the song. I'll Wait For You

Hope everyone is having a great day!  

Sunday, January 2, 2011

More Cat Tales...

Today isn't as good as yesterday.

Man...I just hate that.

Today I woke up with a fever and extreme lethargy.  I guess the 'nadir' days have begun.  (Lowest dips to the white and red blood counts.)  Tom, as usual, came in and 'tylenoled' me, fed me, and supported me while I had a pity party. 

I thought I was going to get to go to the grocery store today.  Sigh.  Wah.  I guess I need to get a list together for Tom to take with him.  That is sooooo much harder than just going in there and grabbing what I want.  It is easier to see it and remember we need it than try to remember it to send him after it.  I don't really know what the good meats are for the day from my bed either...ARGGHHH. 

Shadow is kind of whiny today too.  Poor Tom.  She was in the bathroom with him where the washer and dryer were going and she was SCREAMING to get out of there.  The washer terrifies her.  She doesn't like that spin cycle at all. 

Then she wanted the window open.  ('s 30 degrees outside today but SHE wants the window open.)  I'm ashamed to say we do crack it for her so she'll be happy. 

Lately, since I've been home all the time, she has 'trained' me to brush her several times a day.  She meows, I follow her into the laundry room (where her food and water are) and she jumps up on the counter and I pull the brush out of the drawer and brush her all over.  This happens SEVERAL times a day.  Tom has been dealing with that on the days that I'm crashed and I THINK he's about had enough of it.  Believe it or not...he isn't a natural care giver...especially not to cats...oops.  Sorry, Tom.  I didn't mean to spoil's just like with kids...BJ used to point to stuff and I would just automatically get it for him.  It's all second nature to me.  Half the time I don't even remember following her into the laundry room.  All of a sudden, I'm just standing there brushing her. 

Well, I'd better get busy with that grocery list...I feel a nap coming on and I know Tom would rather get this out of the way so he can relax the rest of the day (well, except for brushing the cat...HA).