Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Sleepless Night and Sonogram

This has been an interesting 24 hours. 

I talked with my Cancer Nurse from the Boeing Wellness Program yesterday afternoon.  I was telling her about the new lump in my right breast (the one that had the cancerous lump that they removed).  She sounded kind of panicky and asked what they are doing about it.  I basically told her my request was to wait until chemo was over.  She said not to wait, but to pass Go and immediately get it checked out because if I am growing new lumps then the chemo won't have worked as it should have if they are malignant.  Sigh.

No sleep last night, as you can imagine...lots of weird dreams when I did sleep though...I dreamed Tom wasn't waiting for me to die but was already scoping out the new wife he would need when I died.  Oh, the mind is a crazy thing...I kept asking him, "Couldn't you just wait until I'm actually dead to go looking for a new wife?"  When I woke up, if he hadn't already been out of bed, I would have smacked him 'cause I was just that mad.  HA!

So, this morning, I call my doctor and ask for a sonogram for the lump he found last week.  They immediately got me into The Breast Center to have it checked out.  I have an appointment tomorrow morning to go over the results with the doctor.  I have had a lot of sonograms in my lifetime.  They would always do the mammogram and then they would shuffle me off to do a sonogram of the lumps they would see in the mammogram.  I've seen a LOT of fluid filled cysts in my lifetime.  When they found the actual tumor, last July, I saw it on the sonogram before the technician said anything.  This time, I didn't see anything but fluid filled masses but she wouldn't talk about it.  (Whatever...)  I feel pretty confident that it was just a fluid filled cyst.

So, we've jumped through one more hoop.  I have to admit though, I wasn't going to jump through it until she said that all the chemo would have been for nothing if it had turned out to be a malignant tumor.  I asked her what they would do if the chemo wasn't working and she said they would change the chemo to another type.  No wonder I had nightmares.  I just can't see me doing another chemo round.  I guess in my head I had just written me off as dead, if that was the case.   HA!

Hope everyone is having a great day!  I know I'm going to sleep better tonight.  8-)

4 comments:

  1. Hit Tom for me, too! :-) Nah...hug him...he'd never do that in a million years! :-) I remember waking up one night wanting to hit Daryl for whatever he did (or didn't) in my dream...it was that real! Good think I woke up in time to stop myself! HA!

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  2. Ha, Must have been a night for strange dreams! I was dreaming of Dub, and he had just had a death of a mate, and I was there to take up the slack as a new mate. Ha. He was getting ready to finish up class room files (of kids) and he had the wrong files and was flipping through them. I was telling him, no, don't do that, those are wrong ones. Don't do that! I woke myself up shouting, Don't do that! Ha ha. First time in my life that has ever happened. I am glad you got the lumps looked at. Sleep well this evening, Babe. Love'n youn's forever. Mom

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  3. Okay, I skipped the whole lump thing...I'll be praying, and wanting to hear how it went. I just figured you didn't need me wringing my hands in the background....distraction techniques are necessary while waiting....

    Love you!

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  4. That is, I skipped commenting on it, not reading it.

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