Saturday Ramblings

Yesterday was a CRAZY work day.  I am glad it is the weekend now.  My boss is chomping at the bit for me to come back to the office.  He is not a patient man.  There is a lot of people that need training.  I just don't think I have the stamina to stand in front of classes every day for several days for 8 hours.  

I cleaned out the fridge this morning.  (Still working on building up stamina)  There is hardly anything in it so it is the perfect time to take care of that business.  We desperately need to go shopping.  I may just take a chance and go out there and get it done today. 

I stopped my sleeping pills last night too.  Not much sleep going on because of that.  I have to get everything back to normal though.  My body needs to learn to sleep on its own again.  (sigh)  I want to get all the drugs out of my body that don't need to be there anymore.  Out bad drugs...out!

Here is a little 'Max' to round out your day with:

"You Have A Choice

By Max Lucado

“I expect and hope . . . to show the greatness of Christ in my life here on earth, whether I live or die.” Philippians 1:20 

It would have been nice if God had let us order life like we order a meal. I’ll take good health and a high IQ. I’ll pass on the music skills but give me a fast metabolism . . . Would’ve been nice. But it didn’t happen. When it came to your life on earth, you weren’t given a voice or a vote.

But when it comes to life after death, you were.  In my book, that seems like a good deal. Wouldn’t you agree?"

By Grace Alone -

On the Move Again...

In an effort to actually make some progress with my stamina and take the work load back off of Tom again, today I have:

Totally gotten out of bed and moved everything to the office, went through a week's worth of unopened mail (ugh), cleaned house, removed all the internet wiring from the bedroom to encourage me never to go back there again unless it is to sleep (HA!), showered (yeah me!!),  started working on our taxes..(more ugh...) did most of the laundry, and kept up with all 'real' work taskings from my boss.  (Yeah, I still have to fit work into my day...sigh.)

It has been a productive day and it's only 12:30.  Wow...just wait until I get all my energy back.  Whoo whoo.  

Shadow has moved back to the guest bedroom. (As soon as I started stripping sheets in the bedroom she skedaddled to the other side of the house...she knows what it means when I start getting active.)

I am very excited to be active again and while it is taxing and tiring, I know that it will all pay off to have worked these muscles and made myself breath deep and hard as I work around the house.

I've got to start interviewing people to clean my house again soon.  Now that I am not going to be as susceptible to 'germs' I need to find someone else to do our cleaning for us.  We really don't have time to waste on house cleaning when I start going into work again.  I'm not going to bring back the people that were doing it before all this started because they didn't clean my shower well enough.  (I know..I know...that sounds silly, but if I'm paying them, they should do it the way I want it done.)  They did do the floors well though (my other pet peeve...)  I always wonder why the cleaning crews won't MOVE stuff when they dust.  Once a month no matter who I get, I end up having to dust UNDER everything.  (Another reason I don't have a lot of knick knacks laying around my house.  I hate to have to dust...)

I just got a pop up reminder about my 1:00 meeting...I guess I'd better go get ready for that...

Hope everyone is having a great day!!

By Grace Alone -

Back to Work

Well, Tom will be home soon...YEAH!  I've been lonely here today...I must be on the mend...lol.

I actually worked today (from bed, but I still worked so it counts...).  My boss even asked me when I was coming back (physically) to work.  That is SOOOOOOOOOOO him.  Like miraculously, since chemo infusions are over, I should be back on my feet.  I gave him the day after my doctor appointment to check my bloodwork as being the return day.  (Feb 10th apt...Feb 11th back to work if all is good.)  Anyway, my boss writes back and says he was wanting to do a luncheon for everyone in the group with birthdays and wanted me to join them for lunch.  I told him that if I could join him for lunch, I'd just come into work...lol.  It was nice of him to want to include me but I probably won't make that luncheon...8-)

My mom got good news today.  She doesn't have gallstones.  They just did a test on her to see if it was a problem.  I was very glad to hear it wasn't.  Since gallstones are created from excess cholesterol and calcium and her bad cholesterol was like NINETY SEVEN...I wasn't thinking that she had gallstones but what do I know?  I've never heard of anyone having such low bad cholesterol...amazing.

Well, Tom is home now...YEAH!  I guess we'll need to start thinking about supper now.

Hope everyone is having a great day!!

Difficulties never last forever.

I don't know where I learned it, but I have always learned to face adversity by knowing that there would be a 'last' time I have to do whatever the difficult thing is.   Difficulties never last forever.

This is what is getting me through this last chemo treatment.  I know that I won't feel this bad forever...I know it will end.  There is hope.  In all human endeavors, there is always hope.  

I took another sick day today because I am still not out of bed yet.   It seems that the mind and the body are so tied together with lethargy in this sickness.  I know it will eventually end though...tomorrow will be a little better and then the next day will improve until I am finally running around in my usual hastened pace to get all things completed before the day is over.  I really don't care right now whether anything gets done or not.   Although, the fact that I am blogging again is a good sign.  If I can do this today, then tomorrow's goal will be to actually work without taking a sick day. 

When she is allowed into the bedroom, Shadow never leaves my side.   She is at my feet as I type thinking that she is 'sneaking' over here and I won't notice her.  She stayed over on Tom's side until I started typing as though she thinks this distraction will allow her to go unnoticed.  I'll let her stay until she gets in the way of my stretching out.  If Tom were here, he would have already run her away from my side.  She knows he isn't though and will take full advantage of me.  I'm ok with that...8-)

I heard an amazing quote today I wanted to share with you by Marianne Williamson: "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." (A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles", Harper Collins, 1992. From Chapter 7, Section 3])

By Grace Alone -

Still Struggling

Still struggling.  I think they either didn't give me the steroids this time (even though they said one of the bags was decadron) or they gave me more chemo than the other three doses of AC.  Either way...this is a tough one.  I didn't get my usual energy burst after the treatment...I went right into bed and have been there since.

As always, Tom is taking care of me...doing laundry, getting my meals, making sure I get fluids, getting me to the restroom, etc.  I could not ask for a better caretaker. 

I don't have much brain for the blogging today but I wanted to thank everyone for the prayers and to let you know that they are working...I'm sure I'll be up and around again in a couple of days if things go as they have in the past.

By Grace Alone -