Saturday, December 18, 2010

Two Days of Random Musings

Hot, cold, hot, wait...I already talked about that...HA.

I figured out my neck pain a couple of days ago.  (No, it's not Tom)  Another exciting thing brought on by low immune system and stress to the body...shingles.  They gave me an antibiotic and I am feeling a bit better than I was.  Other than the pain, I knew something was wrong when I found blood all over my pillow where I had scratched them in my sleep.  Apparently, I am a pretty aggressive scratcher...LOL.

Today I am working on the last of the laundry and cleaning the house.  I'll leave the master bath shower for Tom because it is too hard on my neck to scrub the shower.  We were going to do it all together but I really don't want him working all weekend cleaning the house.  He really needs a break after the care taking he has had to do during the last 8 days.  I don't want to 'use him all up'.  8-)

(Side Note)  All of the above diatribe reflect yesterday's thoughts and am now finally getting back to it.  I started it during a break in cleaning but by the time I finished cleaning I was too exhausted to finish it.  I am learning to do what I can and not worry about what I can't during one single day.  I sure hope this attitude lasts past the chemo recovery.  8-)

We got the nicest Christmas card from my sister-in-law Sharyn this morning.  She said she reads my blog and she is glad that I am her sister-in-law...what a NICE present.  I'm glad she is mine too and I had no idea she was reading my blog. (HI Sharyn)  It's funny how encouraging it is to know that people could possibly be interested in this silly blog.  Tom's sister has the sweetest heart.  I guess his mother did a great job with the whole family.  Tom has three sisters actually.  Probably part of the reason he can put up with me.  8-)

I am having a bit of a weepy day today.  I probably didn't get enough sleep.  I was awake by 3:30 this morning so I'm going to blame it on that.  The taxotere chemo was much worse on the emotions so I really shouldn't complain about it.  Poor Tom though, he had just gotten out of bed and I came in the kitchen pouring tears all over him.  (For absolutely no reason at all)  He hugged me and said all the right things to pull my emotions back in check.  (I require much comforting and reassurance right now.  I am so glad he knows me so well!)

My mom and sister both chatted with me this week (which was awesome).  They are a great support system.  They both have a great sense of humor which keeps me laughing and improves my spirit.  (yeah,'s all about  I have heard my sister doesn't think she has a sense of humor.  Not so, dear sister!  You make me laugh a lot.  8-)  I get to live vicariously through them also.  They both have such active lives.  My mom just had a friend visit that she has known for a gazillion years.  She stayed for a week and they did all kinds of things.  My sister had them over one night and then another night she and Mom went to a 'tea' which sounded like a lot of fun.

Hope everyone is having a great day!  It is about time for me to get moving around here and get some stuff done.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Weather, Hormones, and Facials

Gloomy Gloomy Gloomy Day!

We're supposed to get ice storms here today.  Someone (before me) had my cell phone number and every since I got it, I get a phone call from one of the school systems when they let school out early.  (Lucky me...)  I turned my phone on this morning for the first time in 3 or 4 days and found three messages on there from them stating that school would start late on Monday and Tuesday and today they are going to let out early because of the ice storm that is coming.  Yeah...delete, delete, delete.  But at least I know what the weather is doing now.  HA!

I talked with my cancer nurse last night and about the way that this chemo is speeding up the onset of menopause.  (Anyone who feels uncomfortable with this conversation can close out now...8-)  Part of the purpose of the chemo besides getting rid of cancer cells at the cellular level is to deplete estrogen and progesterone from my body.  Since I was estrogen and progesterone positive (which means my type of cancer is fed by estrogen and progesterone) they work to deplete my body of those hormones as much as possible.  So...goody for me...I get to go through early onset menopause.  With Taxotere, I had hot flashes and night sweats only in the evening and at night.  (not sure why only then)  NOW...with the AC chemo treatments....goody, goody, goody, I get to have them every hour on the hour.   Yeah, nausea is bad, exhaustion is bad, mouth sores are bad, but this menopause stuff...I had to know when it was going to end since I am getting it in full doses as opposed to the normal person who might 'occasionally' get a hot flash. 

So, when she called, the first question out of my mouth was, "How long will these hot flashes last?"

She actually laughed.

I couldn't believe she laughed but then she clarified her laughter with, "I wish I had a nickel for every breast cancer patient that asks me that."  OK, so shoot me for being the normal breast cancer patient. 

She also filled me in on the fact that they would be testing my FSH, LH, and some other hormonal blood test to figure out where I am hormonally about 6-8 weeks after chemo is complete.  They will also start me Tamoxifen which is supposed to keep those hormones out of my body.   I get to take that for five years. 

She never did answer the question about 'how long'....whatever.

We talked about the harsh affects to the skin that chemo has and she gave me some good recommendations for unscented lotions and talked about getting a facial for Christmas to pink up my face.  (Because of inability to expose oneself to the sun during chemo, it leaves us a bit pale and the drying of the chemo is hard on the skin too.)  She said that would show me how much better my skin will be after chemo is complete and would boost my morale.  She said to find someplace that uses all natural products that have a fruit or vegetable base.  I've never had a facial and it might be fun to go do when my blood counts are up and before the next treatment.  Products suggested were by a company from Hungary called "Eminence".  I looked them up online and will research further later on.

Not much else going on here except catching up with my regular job.  Lots of work going on there.  It keeps me out of trouble.  8-)

Hope everyone is having a great day! 

Sunday, December 12, 2010


I've been trying to think of something positive to tell everyone in this blog for two days.  No luck. 

This dose of chemo is worse than the last one.  I remember now why I said during the last treatment that cancer was better. 

Much like childbirth, I had forgotten how bad it is and went right in to get another dose of it.  Idiot.

Tom has been doing some wonderful care giving.  He's done laundry, changed my sheets, listened to me whine, taken my temp and BP at regular intervals, and makes sure I eat and drink water.  He has even gotten intuitive on occasion and not waited for me to ask but checked on my needs.  He is the 'happy' to my days if there is a 'happy'.  Keep praying for him, this isn't easy.

BJ (our son) is wanting to come home and see us for Christmas and I really am not up to it but how do I tell him in a way that he will understand?  If I had some real 'recovered' time in between I would say yes but as soon as I recover, I am doing it again.  He keeps texting me.  As soon as I get some energy, I am going to have to call him and chat about it.  I can't explain things in text messages. 

Well, I just wanted to let everyone know I am still alive since I haven't posted in several days.  Still begging for prayers here...

A little peace found through Max Lucado:  He is talking about God's Love...

"His love covers all things.

Let it. Discover along with the psalmist. “He…loads me with love and mercy” (Ps. 103:4). Picture a giant dump truck full of love. There you are behind it. God lifts the bed until the love starts to slide. Slowly at first, then down, down, down until you are hidden, buried, covered in his love.

“Hey, where are you?” someone asks.

“In here, covered in love.”

Let his love cover all things.

Do it for his sake. To the glory of his name.

Do it for your sake. For the peace of your heart.

And do it for their sake. For the people in your life. Let his love fall on you so yours can fall on them."

I praise God daily for His and everyone's are getting me through this.