Second Day After Chemo

Tom went into work today so that he could make up the time that he missed while taking me to get Chemo on Thursday.  Bless his heart.  I hate that he is having to work odd hours for me.

I figured that since he is having to work, (besides the fact that I needed to move my car since it hadn't been driven in a month) that I would tackle our shopping today by myself.

The first thing I realized is that I hadn't put any gasoline in my car since I was diagnosed with cancer in July.  Yeah, that's right...JULY.  Needless to say, my little car turned its "I NEED GAS" light on first thing.

I pulled into the gas station and couldn't remember how to get my gas cap open.  I knew there was a button to push or pull somewhere on my car but for the life of me, I couldn't find it.  Now in defense of my chemo brain....I had just bought the car in May and haven't really driven it since July.  So, I pulled out the owner's manual and went in search of the release for the gas cap.  I finally found it and got the tank filled up.  (It was in a really strange spot...my Solara had it on the floor of the car and all I had to do was pull it up...this one was a button nearly hidden to the left of the steering wheel...way low where you had to bend down to see it...ridiculous!)  I was really missing my Tom during that mess.

Then I finally got to move on to Wal-Mart.  Now...Tom is usually my brain anchor while I'm on this Chemo.  I don't even think he realizes it.  If I'm feeling disoriented because I can't remember something, I'll prod him to help me remember.  Today, I was walking around trying to remember where I was headed most of the time that I was in the store.  I had a list but there were a couple of things I thought of (when I walked in) that I wanted to look at that weren't on the list.  I never did get those done.  (Whatever they were...lol)  I mean you have to imagine the Attention Deficit Disorder that comes from Chemo Brain.  You're walking in the door and you see the sign "Pharmacy" which is near the beauty stuff.  So you think, oh...I need a new lipstick because mine is almost empty and then you look to your right and you see housewares and you think of something else that you might look at really quick and then you are trying to remember what your original idea was (which was the lipstick) but for the life of you, that brain cell is hiding somewhere and it is never to be found again.  This goes on the entire time I'm in the store.  All I can say is that I DID get everything that was on the list.  HA!!  Lists are my friends.  8-)

Also...I had this buggy that was just driving me over the edge.  It was like it either had a flat (spin, thump, spin, thump, spin thump) or something was stuck on one of the wheels.  I drove that thing all over the store and when I got to the food section, where I was looking for this particular type of jello that I like, and had run the gambit of the aisles looking for it (to no avail), that I decided that I needed to make one more sweep of the aisles but NOT WITH THAT BUGGY.  I proceeded to the front of the store and tested a new buggy and transferred my goods to it and then went happily on my way to find the rest of the stuff I needed in the grocery department.  Funny how much easier it was to think without that 'spin, thump, spin, thump, spin, thump' following me around.  I even remembered that I needed socks and ran over to the women's department and found some.

When I left to come home, I turned on my GPS because I knew that I'd never find my way out of the parking lot without it.  I finally made my way to Hwy 72 and headed home.  This great sense of relief and accomplishment hit all at once.  The simple things that I took for granted in the past have become huge and monumental accomplishments.  I can't wait until I start taking it all for granted again.  8-)  But for now, it is a good day to be me AND to be alive.  8-)  In spite of all the confusion and frustration, I enjoyed taking a little time to myself outside of the house.