SURELY, I Can Be Good for Four Days

I had my two week follow-up from the surgery to implant the port for my chemo treatments yesterday.  Let me start by saying that I am not (normally) a complainer to the doctors but this port has given me nothing but pain.  I can handle a lot of pain, I mean, after all, when I gave birth to my son, BJ, I didn't make a sound.  I had no pain shots or anything.  The woman next to me was screaming bloody murder though.  She was always one centimeter ahead of me and I kept asking the nurse if I was going to be screaming when I got there?  She assured me that everyone was different during childbirth.  (I do remember after about 23 hours telling my husband that I had had about enough and was ready to stop the process but I never screamed or cried in pain.)

You get the idea...

This pain in my shoulder started as soon as I woke up from surgery.  They didn't give me a pain shot or anything with this surgery and I thought, "I'm tough, I can handle this" but I do remember telling the doctor when he came in to check on me that this surgery hurt worse than the removal of the tumor and the 4 cysts.  He looked surprised and patted me on the shoulder but still didn't give me anything for pain.  We proceeded to go home and I had to work that afternoon because I was/am being greedy with my sick time.  I want to have enough to get through this whole process without having to eat into my vacation time.  (We deserve a nice vacation after all this, I'm thinkin'.)

I worked all afternoon and by 3:30 I am sitting there with tears streaming down my face and sobs coming out of my mouth.  My husband is sitting on the other end of the couch looking helpless and wondering what he can do for me.  He tells me to call the doctor and see if this is normal.  I call the Doctor's office and she says she'll have the nurse call me.  He (husband) is so disturbed by my pain and tears, he goes and gets THE PAIN MEDICINE.   I don't do pain meds.  I hate the side affects.  Finally, he all but shoved one in my mouth.  An hour later, I'm feeling MUCH less pain.  I'm pretty much giddy with relief.  When the nurse calls an hour and a half later, I'm apologizing for even bothering them.  She tells me I won't get addicted for just taking the pills for a few days and to please take them. 

FINE...whatever.

So...now we're up to the visit to the doctor yesterday.

I started by talking to the nurse at the surgeon's office and she said (ever so sweetly) "How are you doing today?" and I answered (ever so sweetly back) "I'm in a lot of pain."  She asks, "On a scale of one to ten, where is your pain?"  I'm thinking..."What a stupid question...I hate this question...how do I figure out what her scale means?  It's a LOT of pain or I wouldn't tell her at all."  BUT what I say is, "Hmmm, maybe a seven."  She writes that down.  She takes my BP which is through the roof and she tsks and writes that down (I'm in pain...hello...of course it is high).

She takes me back to the doctor's office.  He is immediately in the room.  I'm thinking "Wow...that was fast."  He asks me about the pain.  I tell him ALL about it.  He says that there are instances of the tip of the port separating and ending up in the heart and then you have to have surgery to remove it.  (I'm thinking..."nice..." with a heavy dose of sarcasm going on in my head)  He says, if the pain is too much, he'll just remove the port.  I tell him that I like the concept because they won't have to stick my veins every time and I want to use the port.  Then he asks me how much rest to the arm I got after surgery.  I'm thinking, "UH OH...he's not gonna like this answer."  "Uh...none" I tell him.  I explained that there is a lot going on at work and that I was being greedy with my sick time plus there are things to do around the house that are impossible to do without that arm in motion...blah blah blah...I can see the blank look coming over his face.  He waits patiently for me to finish. Then he says IT.

"Do not do ANY work of any kind for at least four days but a week would be best."

WHAT?  Is he kidding?  He REALLY doesn't know me.

At this point, my brain is scrambling to figure out how I'm going to accomplish what he wants.  Well, I knew I had the rest of the afternoon off because I had already worked my 8 hours that day. So that took care of one day.  I can't stop typing...but I can quit 'reaching' for the keyboards.  (I say keyboards because I have my work computer and my personal computer sitting here on my desk and both are laptops so I have to reach up to get to the keyboards which is a strain on my shoulder.)  I have two separate keyboards (now) that are in the pullout shelf that keep me from reaching.  Tom took care of the cooking last night and I just sat like a little vegetable on the couch.  By the end of the night I really could tell a difference in the pain level.

Maybe this doctor really does know his stuff.  (whatever)

Today I am still guarding the shoulder and Tom is doing the laundry and I'm just sitting here at my computer like a vegetable moving between the two keyboards but not stressing the shoulder.  The doctor says if 'resting' works then he won't take it out.

Sigh...SURELY, I can be good for four days...(in my own way)